The Wizarding Grand Tour
by 0anon0
Summary: Harry and Ron have nothing to do. They decide to go on a Wizarding Grand Tour. What could go wrong? Warning: adult content
1. Prologue

It was 1999. Voldemort had been defeated over six months ago. In the meantime, Harry had been busy making sure that the wizarding world was still running and that the vacuum of power that was left when Voldemort and his Death Eaters were vanquished was filled. Minerva McGonagall had been recently appointed Headmistress of Hogwarts and Kingsley Shacklebolt was acting Minister of Magic. Harry thought that the wizarding world will be just fine with these people running things. But now he didn't have much to do. Ginny and Hermione were halfway through their last year of studies, and wouldn't graduate until June. Auror school only began in August. That meant that he had a good six months with absolutely nothing to do.

On this particular day, Harry and Ron were moping around at 12 Grimmauld Place. Since Harry had decided to live here full time, he had spent some time cleaning up the place. He had gotten someone to refurbish the rooms, and he had even managed to take down the portrait of Walburga Black that had been hanging in the corridor. Kreacher had refused to let Harry throw out one of the only relics of his ex-mistress, so Harry had placed it, and many of the other priceless Black heirlooms that were no longer needed, in an unused back room. Kreacher moved from his old bedroom into this larger room so that he could be surrounded by Black memorabilia.

Just like him, Ron had little to do. He was also going to Auror school, and in the meantime, everyone was busy.

"What should we do today, Harry?" Ron asked from his position, sprawled over a couch.

"The same as yesterday?" suggested Harry, who was flipping through today's _Daily Prophet_.

"So, nothing", Ron concluded. "We need to find something to do!"

Harry sighed and turned the page. He skimmed it, and then, as he got to the bottom, he stopped.

"Come over here and look at this", he said to Ron. Ron got up, and walked over to Harry. Both of them stared down at the small advertisement.

"Are you bored?" Harry read aloud. "Do you want to something different? Then join the Wizarding Grand Tour, and see the world!"

"I dunno", Ron said slowly. "I never liked the idea of tours. It restricts you from doing what you want to do."

"So lets make our own Grand Tour", Harry countered. "We can go where we want, when we want. We can leave if we're bored or stay a a place longer if we want." Ron still looked unsure.

"Come on!" Harry continued. "It'll be fun!"

By the end of the next week, Harry had convinced Ron, and they were off to travel the world.


	2. Snapshot 1 – Burkina Faso

Harry and Ron followed their guide quietly in between the trees. They were in Africa, in Burkina Faso, and on the trail of the infamous runespoor. The guide stopped in front of them.

"As you know," he began to explain, "runespoors are snakelike animals with three heads. The left head is the planner; it decides what the animal does and where it goes. The middle head is the dreamer; it can cause a runespoor to sit and dream for days on end. The right head is the most dangerous – it is venomous, and spends most of its time criticising the other heads."

The guide led Harry and Ron a few hundred metres further.

"We are approaching the main runespoor nest region", the guide whispered from their position within some bushes. "Wands at the ready." Harry and Ron took out their wands.

The guide moved some leaves out of the way and gasped. Harry and Ron craned forwards to look. In front of them lay a runespoor. It's glistening, black and orange snakelike body lay on the grass of the clearing. What was most impressive was the size of it. It must have been 5 metres long. The three men sank back into the bushes.

"This runespoor is one of the largest I've ever seen," the guide whispered. There was a note of worry in his voice. "We should move away. It's probably dangerous. Unless one of you can speak Parseltounge?" Harry and Ron shook their head and took another peak at the runespoor in the clearing.

"It's gone!" said Ron, incredulously. There was a snap and a hiss from behind them. Harry and Ron whipped around. Their guide had disappeared!

There was another hiss from in front of them. This was joined by hisses from their left and right. Slowly, the three runespoor heads slid out of the gloom. Harry and Ron were surrounded. They tried to walk backwards, but, as quick as lightning and before Harry or Ron had the chance to raise their wands, the runespoor attacked.

As the darkness claimed them, Harry and Ron could hear the hissing of the runespoor grow louder in their ears.

* * *

Harry groaned. His whole body felt sore. He felt like someone had run him over with a car. There were pinpricks of pain all over his body.

Harry could feel a cool breeze caressing his skin. He opened his eyes. The incessant hissing that had haunted his dreams grew louder. The memory of the runespoor came back to him. Harry sat up suddenly and looked around. The runespoor was lying not far away. It looked like it was sleeping, but Harry could guess that if he tried to do anything to it, or tried to escape, it would wake in a moment. Harry then looked down at himself. His body was covered with marks of runespoor bites. His clothes were in tatters. His robe was nowhere to be seen, and his shirt and clothes were ripped everywhere.

Harry looked around slowly. Ron was lying next to him still unconscious. Like him, Ron's clothes were also ripped to bits. Slowly, Harry inched over to where Ron was lying the shook him. Ron rolled over, muttered "wake me later, Harry", then opened his eyes. He sat up and froze. He turned to Harry.

"What to we do?" Ron mouthed, terrified.

Harry shrugged and looked around. Halfway between them and the runespoor lay their wands. Harry caught Ron's eye and nodded at them. They slowly moved towards them. As Ron picked up his wand, the hissing rose in magnitude. The runespoor had awoken!

The runespoor slithered towards Harry and Ron, who had frozen in terror. The six eyes were focused on Ron. It slithered past Harry and surrounded Ron with his three heads. Ron whimpered.

In desperation, Harry dove down to grab his wand. As he hit the ground, something grabbed him from behind. Harry looked up into the eyes of one of the runespoor heads. He quickly looked at the other two heads, and realised his peril – this was he rightmost head, the venomous one. Any wrong move, maybe any move at all, could cause the runespoor to kill him. Harry froze and stared at the head. He didn't want to look away. It would give the runespoor an advantage. Luckily for him, Harry had fallen directly on his wand. Now he just had to bide his time.

Next to Harry, Ron was cornered by the other two heads. They reared above him, hissing menacingly. Out of the corner of his eye, Ron could see that the third head was guarding Harry. Suddenly, one of the heads lowered itself and grabbed Ron around the waist. The runespoor, with Harry and Ron as its prisoners slithered into the jungle.

Before long, the runespoor reached a cave that was camouflaged by some fallen branched. It dragged the two wizards into the cave and then settled at the entrance.

"What do we do?" asked Ron, desperately

"I dunno", Harry replied. "Maybe we can wait until it goes hunting?"

"But what if it already has, and we're the prey!"

Harry and Ron lapsed into silence. The runespoor was hissing loudly, possibly in some kind of argument. Harry and Ron hoped that the outcome would be favourable to them.

After a while, it reached a conclusion. The runespoor advanced on Harry and Ron, who crawled back until they hit the back cave. The middle head grabbed Ron and pulled him towards it. Ron yelled. The leftmost head hissed loudly at Ron until he stopped. Ron was laid down in the middle of the cave. He looked up, terrified at the two runespoor heads above him, not daring to move. The middle head lowered, opened its jaws… and gave Ron a lick.

"That tickles", Ron said without thinking. The runespoor hissed loudly. "Sorry", he apologised.

The middle head continued to lick Ron. Ron tried as hard as he could not to wriggle and not to say anything. The left head joined in as well. Only the right head didn't participate. It was too busy watching Harry.

The runespoor whipped its tongues over Ron's body, exploring all the pores and crevasses of his body. Ron groaned as the stimulation aroused him. The more the tongues explored, the more aroused Ron got. Before long, his penis was tenting his underwear. The leftmost head of the runespoor, sufficiently intrigued by this physiological change, ripped Ron's underwear. His penis sprang out, sticking out at a ninety degree angle from his body. The runespoor's tongue began to work at that as well.

Needless to say, that amount of stimulation for a man who hadn't seen his girlfriend in a few months was more that sufficient. With a groan, Ron shot rope after rope of cum in the air. Some of it landed back on him, but some landed on the runespoor.

Surprised, all three heads of the runespoor shot up in the air and looked around. This was enough time for Harry. The instant the third runespoor head was no longer watching him, he raised his wand.

"_Impedimenta!_" he yelled. The rightmost head collapsed in a heap. A few more well positioned spells knocked out the other two heads as well. Harry reached down and took Ron's hand. Without a backwards glance at the unconscious runespoor, Harry and Ron ran out of the cave.


	3. Snapshot 2 – Amazon Part 1

The rain dripped through the trees, trickling down onto the ground, forming puddles on the path through the jungle. Harry and Ron squelched through the mud.

"This sucks", Harry complained. "We've been walking in this rain for hours, and we haven't seen a Giant Panther anywhere! The people back in the last town guaranteed that we'd see one within an hour."

Ron was struggling to look at the map they had been given without getting it wet.

"Let's see", he muttered, pouring over the map. "We should be around... here!" he pointed his finger at the map. Harry looked over his shoulder.

"Maybe", Harry commented, unsure. "I don't know how we can check where we are." He took out his wand, and said "_Point me_". The wand twisted in Harry's palm.

"We're still walking south", Harry confirmed. "Let's go on", he told Ron.

The two boys pushed their way through the trees.

Behind them, a pair of eyes shone in the shadows, watching them depart.

* * *

Harry and Ron were still trudging through the jungle when they first heard the sound. The sound came from behind them, and sounded like it was a mix between a trumpet and an owl's hoot. They had never heard anything like that before.

"What do you think that was?" Harry asked Ron.

"Dunno", Ron replied. "Probably just some bird. I doubt we'll see it. We can barely see anything through the trees here."

An answering call came from in front of them.

"Don't be too sure about that, Ron", Harry said happily. "You never know."

From their left, another call sounded. This one sounded much closer. This was followed by another from their left.

"I hope those birds don't plan to eat us", Ron said gloomily. "Because if they do, they have us fairly penned in."

But the jungle was now quiet, or as quiet as the jungle ever got. Harry and Ron could here the calls of other birds, the rustling of plants as animals sped through the jungle on the ground or in the trees. There was no sign of this mysterious bird or of the Giant Panther.

"Ow!" exclaimed Ron suddenly, slapping his hand up to his neck. "Something bit me!" At the same time, Harry also felt a bite on his neck.

"It's probably only a mosquito", he reassured Ron. "You know how many of them there are around here."

The boys walked on. They stumbled through the trees, tripping over fallen branches. The rain stopped, but it was no relief. Ron leant against the trunk of a tree next to him.

"I can't go on", he panted.

Harry had slid down and was sitting in the mud. His eyes were closed.

"Ooooohhhhh", he groaned. "I've got such a big headache!" Harry heard a thud as Ron slumped onto the ground. Harry opened his eyes, and saw some hazy figures approach them. He saw one of them bend over Ron before another shape blocked out everything else. As the figure reached an arm over him, Harry heard a yell from Ron. He tried to move his arms, his legs – anything – to ward off the shape, but he couldn't. In one quick motion, the shape jabbed something into Harry's neck.

"Ouch!" he exclaimed.

The figure moved away. Harry lay on the ground. Soon, his headache vanished. Harry found that he could move his arms and legs again. In fact, he felt even better than he had before. He blinked a few times. Then sat up suddenly.

Surrounding Ron and him were a group of people from one of the indigenous tribes in the Amazon. They weren't wearing much – just loincloths made from some sort of animal skin. The men all had long hair that was tied back, and were carrying an assortment of weapons. Harry saw a range of different knives, bows and even a blowpipe. He gulped. Things didn't look so good at the moment. He glanced towards Ron, and saw that he too had recovered.

One of the men, who wore a feathered headdress, garbled something in a language that Harry and Ron didn't understand. They glanced at one another. The man repeated what he said and pointed at them impatiently.

"I think he wants us to stand", Ron whispered to Harry.

They slowly stood up. The other men took positions around them. The man with the feathered headdress (who Harry supposed was the leader of the group), said something else, and the group began to walk fast. Whenever Harry or Ron fell a bit behind, or tripped over something, they were roughly pushed or pulled until they continued at the pace set for them.

Within a few minutes, Harry and Ron were completely lost. They didn't seem to be walking on any path. All the trees looked the same. Neither boy knew how they were going to find their way back.

The group marched through the jungle for some time. Harry and Ron couldn't tell for how long they had been walking – they were too busy trying to keep up. Suddenly, the trees disappeared, and the group entered a huge clearing. Harry and Ron stared. In front of them lay a village. There were hundreds of huts scattered throughout the clearing, and many people were working in the area. Most impressive though, was the huge monolith in the centre of the clearing, which had been carved into a tower. It easily dwarfed the huts.

As Harry and Ron were led through the village, the people turned to stare at them. They felt a bit unnerved. The men led them to the centre of the clearing, to the base of the tower. Harry and Ron stared up, and saw that on the outside of the tower were stairs that circled around and around it. The men pushed them, and they stumbled forwards through the puddles that had formed on the ground. Ron looked around, and saw that none of the men had stepped forward with them. The man with the headdress gestured at the tower and said something. Harry and Ron inched slowly to the base of the monolith.

There was a yell from behind them. The man with the headdress was shouting at the top of his voice. The man with the blowpipe was aiming it at them. Harry and Ron took one look at each other, and ran up the stairs.

After climbing around a hundred stairs, and when they were on the other side of the tower from the men, who were still watching them from below, Harry and Ron stopped for a rest.

"I don't like this", Ron said. "I don't know what's going to be at the top of the tower, but I bet you that we're not going to like it."

"What else can we do?" Harry replied. "We can't go back down." There was a pause as they continued to walk.

"It's a long way down", Harry said, risking a look over the edge.

"Yep", Ron said shortly. Even though he wasn't normally scared of heights, the tower was high, and there wasn't anything stopping them from falling. They continued edging their way around the tower.

After another excruciating 20 minutes, Harry and Ron were nearly at the top. Soon they would find out what exactly was waiting for them at the top of the tower.

Harry and Ron had just stopped to recuperate before finishing the climb in an alcove that sheltered them from the wind when they heard a scream. They looked up. It came again. Without another thought, Harry stood up and ran up the rest of the stairs.

"Stop!" Ron yelled. "You'll fall!" But Harry either didn't hear him, or didn't listen. Ron stood up, and quickly followed him, muttering about foolish people who run off without finding out what the issue was first.

* * *

Harry rounded the tower one last time, and found himself at the top of the tower. It was flat, and the view from there would be superb if not for the rain. Harry's eyes were drawn to the centre of the space on top of the monolith. In the centre lay a stone slab. And tied to that slab was a yelling naked young woman, thrashing on the slab. Harry thought that she was probably his age. He quickly approached her and took out his wand. With a word, he sliced the ropes off the girl. She sat up, suddenly quiet, and smiled at Harry. Harry cautiously approached her.

* * *

Ron reached the top of the tower out of breath – he just wasn't as fit as Harry and couldn't catch up with him. The screaming had stopped only a few minutes ago, and he felt better about that. But he became much more worried when he reached the top of the tower, and there was nothing there. There was just a flat surface. And most importantly, there was no Harry.

Ron frantically rushed around the small platform, but there was nothing there. He called out, but there was no reply except for a garbled yell in a language he didn't understand from below.

Despondently, Ron sat on the edge of the tower, his legs hanging down. For several minutes, he sat, trying to decide what to do next. It started to rain again.

Then suddenly, Ron heard a noise that sounded a bit like 'plink'. He looked around. The noise came again. Quickly, Ron put his ear on the rock. He heard the noise again, an echo in a hollow space. Ron scrambled around the platform, placing an ear on the rock every now and then. He stopped in the exact centre of the tower. On hands and knees, Ron examined the ground carefully. There! He could feel a slight crack in the platform. He followed in round, and realised that it was a trapdoor. But how to open it?

Ron stood up and looked around. There must be a way! Harry had definitely gone down wherever that trapdoor led. Where else could he have gone? And why did he shut the door after him?

Ron took a few steps back to look around. There was a quiet click. He looked down and saw that he had stepped onto something, which sort of looked like a button. There was a whooshing sound, and when Ron looked back up, he saw that where the trapdoor had been was a black hole. He cautiously walked to the edge and looked down. It was pitch black. Ron couldn't see anything. He had no idea how far down it was – maybe it went underground as well!

Ron gulped. If Harry fell down there (and where else could he have gone?), then what could he do? Ron cautiously walked around the hole. Then he saw it. There was a ladder just below the rim of the hole, camouflaged in the dark. There was nothing for it. Ron couldn't go back down the outside of the tower; who knew what the men would do to him. So he began to climb down the ladder. As he looked back up at the weak light, there was a grinding of rock on rock. The trapdoor slid back into place and Ron was plunged into darkness.

With one hand gripping the slippery ladder rung, Ron reached into his pocket drew out his wand and lit it. He looked around the hollow cylinder. Although his wand was lit, he still couldn't see the bottom!

A drop of water hit his head. Ron looked up. Maybe there was still a way out. But Ron could see straight away that there was no escape upwards. Rainwater was leeching through the cracks in the rock and dripping in a waterfall straight down. Ron looked down again. The ladder circled the inside of the monolith, like the stairs did on the outside. Without any other choice, Ron began to climb down.

* * *

Ron had been climbing for what seemed like an eternity. And it had definitely not been fun. The ladder was slippery due to the rain, and a number of times already Ron had nearly fallen off, only saved by a timely grab. What was worse was that as he climbed down further, it had gotten warmer and warmer. His clothes would have dried but for the incessant torrent from above. Nonetheless, Ron was sweating a lot. The rain didn't help – it had heated up, and did nothing to ease the temperature around him. By the time he reached the first landing, he had taken off his shirt. Needless to say, it did not help.

Ron was surprised when his feet hit solid ground. He hadn't thought that he was at the bottom. But when he looked around, he could definitely see that he was still high up. The landing he was standing on was small. On the side onto which he had climbed sat a small bench. The other side of the landing was blocked by a wall. Ron looked over the sides and just saw the inky blackness below. He had reached a dead end. Ron sank onto the bench, unhappy that he would have to climb all the way up.

Ron looked up and something on the opposite wall caught his eye. On closer inspection, Ron saw an image etched into the door. It showed a person (he was definitely male; there was no way to mistake it in these tribal images, because, for some reason, people never wore clothes) standing in front of the door on, Ron squinted and pointed his wand closer, some sort of marking on the floor. It must be some sort of enchantment!

A quick search of the floor uncovered a spiral around a metre in diameter in front of the door. Ron stood on the spiral, feeling stupid. Nothing happened. Ron stepped off the spiral and sat back down on the bench, dispirited. He stared glumly at the door. There must be some trick to it.

In his head, Ron tried to remember what he had learnt at Hogwarts about enchantments like this. He knew the requirements were always very exact. The doors for the most protected vaults at Gringotts, for example, could only be opened by a Gringotts goblin. It was also very difficult to break these types of enchantments. It was something that he would learn in Auror training in a few months. So there must be some way for him to get through. He had to hope, otherwise there was nothing he could do.

Ron looked at the image on the door again. 'The requirements are very specific', he thought to himself. He had an inkling of what he must do. The person on the wall was stark naked. Maybe he had to be the same. It seemed stupid, and a bit too easy to guess, but there was no harm in trying. And no one was watching, so Ron had no need to be embarrassed.

Quickly, Ron stripped, folded his clothes, and placed them neatly on the bench. He then walked over and stood on the spiral. Nothing. Then a blue light shone from above. Ron was blinking up at it when the spiral started rapidly moved down. Ron watched in horror as the small landing, and his clothes, disappeared above.

The spiral stopped on another landing not far below. In front of Ron was a new ladder. Ron looked up again, and could just make out the hole from which he had descended at the edge of the sphere of light his wand made. There was no way he could get up there. Ron looked at the wall of the monolith, to see if there was a clue for him to get up the top. There was nothing. He stepped off the spiral, and as soon as he did, it zoomed back up. Ron had no option now but to continue, in the nude.

* * *

Before long, Ron got over his nakedness. In fact, he nearly forgot about it. The heat that was coming from below enveloped him, and he was happy that he didn't sweat as much.

But soon enough, Ron reached another landing, identical to the previous one. Annoyed, Ron looked around for the spiral on the ground. But it wasn't there. He looked up at the opposite wall and saw the spiral. It was carved into the wall, beneath another drawing. This drawing showed a person standing directly in front of the spiral. Ron did so, and when, predictably, nothing happened, Ron scrutinised the drawing. The person looked like he was thrusting into spiral! How did that even make sense?

Ron looked around again, but there was no other option than to solve this riddle. He looked back at the spiral doubtfully, and saw that there was no place to put anything into the spiral at all. Ron ran a hand over a spiral. Something moved slightly. He did it again, and this time felt a circular part at centre of the spiral, around 5 cm in diameter, move around a bit. Maybe there was some truth in the drawing after all. Ron pushed, and the circle in middle of the spiral moved a fraction. He tried again, and the circle moved a bit further away. Soon, Ron pushed it out completely. It fell out into the abyss below. He didn't even hear it hit the ground.

Ron cautiously slid his fingers into the hole. It was smooth and surprisingly warm. He couldn't feel any type of trap or anything unpleasant. Ron looked around uncomfortably. He wanted to avoid doing anything foolhardy, especially after what happened on the last landing. He looked carefully around the landing. He shone his wandlight over edge of the landing, looking for the continuation of the ladder. He even stuck his head over the edge and looked under the landing.

But there was nothing. Ron had to accept that if he wanted to find Harry and get out (and ideally not starve to death in this dark cavern), he had to move on. And the only way to move on was to take a risk. He gulped and put his penis on the edge of the hole. Nothing happened. He pushed it in a bit. Still nothing. Ron slowly slid his penis further and further into the hole, dreading the bad things that would happen. Then, Ron pushed one last time, and he was standing straight, pressed onto the wall. Ron sighed a sigh of relief. True, he hadn't gone anywhere, but nothing bad had happened either. The hole felt warm and comfortable, and Ron felt his penis harden to the touch of the warm stone.

Then there was a click. Ron looked around wildly for where the sound had come from. He tried to pull out backwards, but it was too late. The spiral tightened around Ron's penis. It wasn't hard enough to hurt, but it was definitely tight enough to prevent Ron from getting out.

There was another click. The spiral began, very slowly, to move forwards. Ron was pushed back as the spiral exited the wall and hovered over the landing. Ron redoubled his efforts to pull away, but to no avail. Ron began to panic. He yelled. He beat at the rock. But the spiral was an unstoppable force. All Ron was doing was using up the remaining energy that he had.

Ron looked around. He was fast approaching the edge of the landing, and there was nothing he could do to escape. The edge got closer and closer. Then Ron's feet were scrabbling at the rock that he had been standing on, and the spiral moved over the edge of the landing.


End file.
